I’ve always loved the process of putting things together and seeing an idea come to life. When I was a kid, I used my mom’s typewriter and some plain white copy paper to put together a weekly newsletter for our neighborhood, complete with a neighborhood update column, a comic (drawn by me), and a crossword puzzle (also drawn by me). I would scotch tape everything together onto one piece of paper, then take it to the daycare my mom owned and use the copy machine in her office to make copies of the final version. I loved the process. I loved seeing it come together. I’m very grateful to my parents and my childhood neighbors for indulging me and giving me space to explore my innate desire to write and create.

Fast forward several years, when I finally, after a very tumultuous time, decided that writing is what I’m meant to be doing. I pursued a BA in English, where I was basically told that the only way to support yourself as a writer was to be a “professional writer”-—journalist, grant writer, technical writer, etc. So I relinquished (mostly) the creative side of an English degree and focused on the technical parts. I went on to get a master’s degree in Technical and Professional Communication, then spent 10 years as technical writer, writing user manuals, release notes, etc. for PDMP software. Every now and then, however, the proposals department would need editing help and send things my way. I liked being a technical writer, but it was never something I was passionate about. I got more excited when I got to edit the proposals. But I never explored editing further, because I was good at tech writing and it paid the bills.

But after Dave died in 2020 and I started to piece together what my life would look like without him, I realized that I had to do something I was passionate about. The company I was tech writing for at the time had quite a few management changes at the beginning of 2021, and there was a lot of tension between myself and my new supervisor (who had no writing background nor knowledge of our company). I was already thinking of quitting on the day she called me to yell at me for going to therapy and being five minutes late to a Zoom meeting (which she scheduled at 3:00, knowing that I would be with my therapist until 3:00, but I digress). Timing is everything, I guess, because that was the final straw. I quit first thing the next morning.

I took about a six-month break from work for my mental health, taking on some freelance editing gigs here and there. I loved those gigs. When I started looking for jobs again, I decided to look only at editorial jobs. I knew that was what I wanted. Ideally, I would have liked to have gotten hired at a publishing house back then, but I didn’t have the editorial experience they wanted. So I started looking outside the publishing houses, and I found the place I work now whose name I’m not saying because I’m not sure if I’m allowed to in this context.

In 2022, I took a job as Assistant Editor at the place I work now and worked my way up to Technical Editor. And while I’m still in the technical field, I get to be involved in the editing and publication process. I edit books and standards for content (to an extent—the material is very technical and often approved by a technical project committee, which sometimes limits where I can edit content [even when it’s bad, *sigh*]) and structure, interact with the authors to integrate changes and answer questions, copy edit, and work with our marketing team on how to promote it. Sometimes, I even get to design the book covers. I love my job, but it is still not my dream job.

Because I knew the place I work now wouldn’t be my dream job but it would be a step in the right direction, I also began the MFA in Creative Nonfiction (CNF) program at Bay Path University in the summer of 2022. And now I feel like my path is beginning to make itself known. I can see it becoming clearer. I’m on a path to somewhere.

I want to take the seeds that were planted in me all those years ago when I was distributing my neighborhood newsletters and plant them firmly in the world of CNF writing and publishing where I can grow and blossom. I want to write my story and release it out into the world, and then I want to keep writing. I want to find creative manuscripts that have something to say and help turn that manuscript into a finished book. I want to help authors realize their dreams. I want to realize my own dreams.

I want to feel that feeling I had as a child when that first newsletter would come off the copy machine in my mom’s office.

Photo by Zack Silver on Unsplash