I’ve been a writer for as long as I can remember, but it was my life partner, Samantha, who taught me about writing new stories.

By age 40, I had been a widow for 3 years. I felt like my life was spiraling out of control. I was lonely and I thought I had too much trauma to make me desirable to anyone. Then I met Samantha. We’ve been together for a little over a year and a half now, and one thing she’s taught me about is beginnings and how we always have the opportunity to write new stories, to create new beginnings.

When I’m having a bad day, she reminds me that tomorrow is a new day.

When I’m triggered by old traumas or having a flashback, she reminds me that those are old stories and we are writing new stories.

Every day, she reminds me we are creating new beginnings.

Last semester, when I was told that I would be doing an internship this semester, I struggled with that at first. When I think of an intern, I usually think of a college student in their early 20s, maybe even a teenager. Someone just getting started in life. I don’t think of the 41-year-old nonbinary graduate student who has been working in the corporate world for almost 15 years. It was hard for me to wrap my head around. On the one hand, I saw it as a step toward creating the life and career that I want. I have the opportunity to learn from established publishing professionals, make connections in the industry, and maybe get a foot in the door.  But on the other hand, there was my inner saboteur telling me that I’m too old to take an internship, that I should be embarrassed about starting a new adventure this late in life. I had to take a step back and remind myself of what Samantha tells me: We’re writing new stories. And the beauty of new stories is that we can write them whenever we want. So I embraced it.

Last week, I started an internship with the publishing house, Santa Fe Writer’s Project. I’m going to be participating in the acquisitions process, doing some copy editing, and possibly learning about the marketing part of the publishing process. I’m incredibly excited about this opportunity. In my first week, I got to dive headfirst into acquisitions. (The Acquisitions Editor finds and evaluates manuscripts and decides whether those manuscripts are promising enough to move forward in the publishing process.) I’m currently reading a book that has never been published, and my thoughts and opinions and research will play a role in whether this book is published or not. How freaking cool is that? I’ve wanted to get into publishing for quite some time, and now I’m finally here—are you kidding me?! I’m writing a new story, and in this one, I’m creating the life I want.

I started this MFA program at one of the lowest points of my life. I was spiraling because I felt like I had no purpose. I came to Bay Path to start over, to write a new story. And I’m so glad I did, because with this internship, I get to start this new chapter in this story.  That’s the beauty of beginnings—you can just keep starting over and creating new stories.

Cover photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash